To The Friends I Have Lost

The last thing I want to do in my life is to count the number of friends I have lost. But it seems to me that it is happening now. I lost friends whom I never thought of losing. I failed to posses the kind of friend that they need during trying times. I took the easier way out. I gave up on them too easily. I also lost friends because I was too busy with my life. I entertained unnecessary events that caused me to have no time for precious people. They have reached out a lot but some of them came to a point of exhaustion. Only then did I come to think that even the closest friends that we have can be taken away from us. I guess it's just one of life's unpredictability.

I am convinced that the world can sometimes be very depleting. I, for most times fall short into life's expectancy. I have not perfected the ultimate point of endurance. I bungle on several disputes and I have lost a lot of treasured people. I wish I could defy life's pressures so I could focus more on delighting the people around me. But I guess it will never work that way. Life will always get even disagreeable as long I live. I can't blame life for the friends that I have been careless of. I just blame the choices I have made in bartering with it.

The only thing I have now, are memories. Those are the few moments that reminded me that life can also be rainbows and butterflies. On the other hand, I just want to hide it somewhere safe, for as much as I love those memories, now, they are just reminders of how a failure I am for allowing the people who made those memories perish. I just don't want to relive them. It's just bringing back the pain because I know it won't happen anymore.

I am sorry for the friends that I have dispossessed and if I only have the power to bring them all back, I would not think twice. That, however, is not going to happen. All I can do now is to just honor the friends that I have left. I will spend every minute making sure that they are appreciated and cherished. Yet, I am ready if someday, life will again get in the way and take some of them.

I just have one request though...there is this one friend that I don't want to lose. Just this one friend. I promise to fight for this friendship until the last battle. I pray that there'd be nothing unpleasant that will happen between us. I am not ready to lose this one. Not yet.

Disclaimer: I do not own the photo. Credits to the owner.