I don't know if I'll be happy or I'll be anxious. He's back and he wanted to start over. I guess it all depends on me whether I still want to. However, you can never take away the fear from someone who have loved and lost.
I met him when I was in 4th year college. He was from a dissolved section and he was transferred to my section along with some of his classmates. We were never friends. I was never his type, and he wasn't my type, either. But I guess everything can just happen. It all started when we were sent to Sagay to have our rotation. It was just for a week, but it opened a lot of windows for confusion and hope. I was just being me, when suddenly, he wasn't being himself. I can still recall the way he would call me for dinner and lecture me when I don't get a lot of rest. It made me wonder... A LOT!
We became friends and never a day goes by without talking to each other. I was young, and potentially in love, with him. During that time, he never failed me. He was the ideal guy every girl wanted. He looked after me, brought me home safely, and he always asked about how my day has been. He was a good guy and as a girl, who never falls for a good guy? The feeling I had for him was overwhelming. So much that I did not even think that it might end. I thought we were okay, so I never thought of losing him. I just did.
Late afternoon, during our NCM class, I saw him went out of the room. I thought it was just nothing, but I had a strange feeling, an instinct. Instincts, for women should not be neglected because they really serve us well. The night of the same day, he did not text me. So I had to text him first, to check if he was okay. I got no reply. Later did I know from a common friend that he left class, and went to his ex's house because she was sick! The next day, he approached me and told me that his ex, wants him back. And because he was guilty for leaving her before, he wants to give it another chance. So where does that leave me? I don't know. The next thing I knew, graduation was over and we never saw each other anymore but we were still friends.
not until...
February 14, 2012: I got a valentine message on Facebook from him. I thought it was just for everyone so I neglected it.
February 19, 2012: I was awakened by a phone call on my international number. It's him! He said he just wanted to say "Hi!" I can't believe he spent a lot just to talk to me. I mean, what is he up to? That instance was the start of another opportunity for us to catch up again. To be honest, he makes me happy, AGAIN!
The next days were amazing, but it led me to question, will this time be different? I guess no one can answer that. Not even him. He just told me he wants to be back to my life again. What I shall do now, is to just enjoy what we have now. I haven't come to think that this is real. That is why I haven't told any of my closest friends, yet. I have not let my guards down, and he knows that. What I have been through with him was painful and I do not want to get through that again. At least he respects that I deserve all the time I need to let him in again.
I am not certain where this will lead us, or if it's even going somewhere. All I am sure is that I am happy and thankful for the moment that I have now. I just hope it never disappears.
Disclaimer: I do not own the photo. Credits to the owner.
